I am sorry, I just submitted a question about my baby with CHD. I didn’t give you my name or email. Sorry.

With all the chaos facing you right now, fogetting to put in your name and email is understandable.  Hopefully, you will still receive my original response through the wonders of modern technology.  If not, here is the very short version.

Find out if your local hospice organization offees respite care for those carrying for the chronically ill. If so, take it.  If not, find someone who can keep the baby for a couple hours so that you can reconnect with your other children, play with them in the sandbox or on the swings. As hard as it is, they need to be reminded that mommy does more than just take care of the baby.

And, as a mommy, I know there is nothing as relaxing and centering as simply playing with your children.

Then, depending on their ages, make a deal with the older kids. Make them a homemade pizza and “deliver” it to them in a play room with a video. Allow them to eat in front of the television and make them promise no inteerruptions for Mommy and Daddy, barring emergencies, for the length of the video.

Next, sit down with your husband. No talking about problems, discussing things that you need to do or worrying about paying bills allowed. Hold hands, talk about movies you both love or just lay your head on his shoulder and remember what it is like to love him as a man…not as provider, daddy, etc.

Once you reconnect with your family and remidn each of them how much you love them, you will be able to face your feelings about the entire situation with a little more energy. Surely there is anger and resentment that this happened to your son that you have not been allowed to let go of. Give yourself time to be sad and time to be glad; Once you have time to mourn the fact that you were not given a perfectly healthy child, then you can apprecate that you have your child and that modern technology has kept him with you.

After you are able to remember the good parts of being a mommy and a wife and yourself, then you will have the energy to help your husband evaluate the family’s needs and begin to figure out solutions to them

Blessed Be!