Hi. Im 35 yr old with a 14mos son with congential heart defects and other birth defects. I did mediation and dabbled a little before he was born, but the past year has been hectic. He is facing 2 more heart surgeries in the next year. Im a stay at home mom, of course with 2 other sons. Our home needs rooms added to it. Bills are starting to pile up. My emotions are out of control. I was wondering if you had advice on what direction and actions I should take to center myself and to get my family out of the situation we are in now. Thank you for your time.
I am so sorry to hear about your little boy. Does your local hospital have a hospice organization that come in and relieve you once a week to let you have a break from the children? Many health organizations of support groups for caretakers of the chronically ill, to give them short breaks, called respite care.
It is well known that caring for a chronically ill person, especially when it is your child, ismentally and emotionally draining. Trying to do that while also caring for your older children probably means that you never have a moment for yourself. You have been so busy caring for your son that you have never even been given time to grieve over his illness. Being required to be the tough one all the time can be devastating.
It is imperative that you get a break from the stress so that you can be a good mother and wife and so that you can be good to yourself. I am sure your husband is overwhelmed with is responsibilities as well. Call your local hospice about respite care. They may simply watch the baby so you can take the older children to the park for a couple hours.
The important thing for the health of your family is that you be allowed to center yourself and let go of the pain and stress. Once you have established respite care, reconnect with your other children as a fun, loving mom. Strangely, nothing centers me more than pushing amerry-go-round or swinging. Your energies have had to be so devoted to your littlest one that you have missed being able to appreciate your older children. Try to take a break with them and then, try to arrange a time to reconnect with your husband.
Even if it is something as simple as giving the kids pizza (homemade, to save money) and a vidoe to watch, let them know you and Dad are off limits for an hour. Hold hands, talk about your dreams, just enjoy one another’s company.
Once you have been able to reconnect with yourself and your family, then you will be better able to tackle the other trials facing you as you nurse your baby to health.
Blessed Be!
