Hello Rose, I have been reading your website with much interest. I have absolutely no experience with what you do (although it feels quite natural and I do believe in it). Is there anything I can do to protect myself from a former relationship (a man who is suffering from borderline?? I did “live” about 3 years with this man although I knew after 2 months that I made a terrible mistake. It got me almost 3 years to get away from him. He would notlet me, no matter what I tried. I luckily still had my home to go to, but was almost broke and physically and mentally worn out and brainwashed by him. It took me some years to become myself again, but I am still suffering. He is still “stalking me”. Not often, but once in a while and it gives me the creeps. I am not really afraid, but I am never at ease. If a car stops in front of the house I am nervous and alert. If the phone rings, I let it ring. People can leave a message. Now he is bothering me in my work which is very annoying too. I do not know how he found out.Calling on the phone all the time…I do not answer though! But I feel very nervous all the time and I hate it that he has this kind of control on my nervesystem too.And I want to have peace and that he leaves me alone. He is (due to an accident) since 1999 involved in a courtcase and expects to claim a lot of money. He wants me to cooperate to write a sort of statement which he can use in court. Apparently they do not believe him and all of a sudden he needs me and starts to bother me again. And I have nothing to do with his claim on the insurance company.I left him in 2003 and I want peace from him. But no way. Anything you could advise me to do? That he finally leaves me alone and doesnot bother me again in the future?? You must know that most people find him really nice and friendly, (or they admitt that I am right, but they say they are afraid of him too and they just want to stay friends with him). I can write a book about what this man did to me, my family and my friends, but I would spend too much good erergy on that. All I want is that he stops pestering and threatening me and that he just forgets about me. It is not that he wants me back, (he has another girlfriend or wife) it is just that he likes it to bother and upset you. It gives him the idea he is still in control of you. It gives him a kick you could say. Well, I hope you get the pictre more or less and I hope you have some advice which helps and which calms me down. As I really feel my nerves are edgy. From my part I do all to ignore him, his phonecalls etc. But I do not know if that is the right approach for this kind of sick people. You must know too that he is so much lying to you that you never know if you can trust him or believe him. That is the reason I do not want to talk to him anymore. All these lies every time, it is disgusting. If you can help me in this I would be GRATEFUL. Thanks a lot for your patience to read and answer this. Karin.

Merry Meet Karin, Your story indeed is a heart-breaking one. One can only imagine what you are going through with this ex-husband constantly on your thoughts and vicinity. There are many things you can do in this situation. First of all, physically, you may be able to get a restraining order from the local police and courts. If this is not possible, you can move to another city or country. There are many places in the world where we can live free of such worries and start a new life. Google “stay free in countries” which will give you many ideas on how to stay in countries teaching English (you write very well! :), helping the local folk (farms in New Zealand, etc) or just staying in monasteries or hostels in return for some work you can do there. If you absolutely cannot move away from the country, it is best to talk to the local police about how to protect your life and health. You can also try this spell to find peace in your heart regardless of where he is at any time: Get a black candle and a sheet of black paper. Draw a hexagram on the paper and place the candle in the middle of the hexagram. Stare into the candle and wish that you were rid of this problem once and for all. Now chant: “Take my problems Let them be gone. I will have peace Before too long.!!! Repeat this chant as many as nine times. Allow the candle to burn down and carefully dispose of the ashes in a stream of running water.. Let it flow away from you. Brightest Blessings!