My husband left me about 5 months ago for a white woman. We talk off and on and he tells me that he loves me but he doesn’t want to come back home. We have been together for 9 years and we have 2 children and out of the clear blue sky he just ups and walks out my life one day for no reason at all. I miss my husband dearly and I want my family back so bad. My children miss their father and I need some help. After not seeing my husband for 4 months and only talking to him about 4 times in 4 months, he calls me out the clear blue sky on the week of April 14, 2012 and says that he wants to take me and the kids on a family trip to Myrtle Beach, SC. I felt real funny about the situation and I was scared and happy at the same time because I’ve been strong for these past months by not calling, texting, begging him back and I wasn’t sure if I was emotionally ready to be around him and I know that he has been having an affair and living with this other woman. Well, I finally said yes after he had asked me 3 more times to go on this trip with him, all kind of thoughts were running through my head. I thought that he missed his family and wanted to apologize for the way he’s been treating me and the kids and come back home, so I agreed to go the trip. At any rate, he came and picked us up as planned and took us to this very nice resort, wined and dined me and the kids and acted like my husband again. Well to make a long story short, he came to pick us up on Saturday morning and he left and went back home on Monday morning and before he left I broke down in tears and told him how much I missed him and how much I wanted to repair our marriage and he told me that he understood how I felt but he had to back to Virginia with the other woman because they had some un-finished business, I knew he was lying but what could I do, I begged him not to leave me but he left anyway and he did not call me until 10 days later. When he called he was actually calling to curse me out and defend his woman because I got so upset that he used me up for the weekend and went back to her that I sent her all pictures we took, receipts from dinner, hotel, shopping, etc. because I wanted her to hurt, just as I’ve been for these past months. At any rate he told me that he was sending me my divorce papers and he said that he was happy where he was at and he wasn’t leaving her, he hung up the phone in my face, and I haven’t heard from him ever since. What I want is for my husband to leave this woman and any other woman alone forever and always and come back to me immediately. I want him to live, breath, think, speak, love, cherish, respect me and only me because I am his wife. I love my husband with all my heart and I think he is being influenced not to love me back. I know that his mother and sisters have always been jealous of our relationship and marriage, so it is my belief that they probably have cursed our marriage in some way. All I know is that I want my husband back today and I will try anything to get him back. Question: What should I do? It is very clear by his actions that he has chosen to be with that woman, hell it’s been 6 months. I love him so much and I’m going crazy without him but I’m still being strong in the process by keeping my distance. Should I stay or should I go?

Merry Meet Seeker,
I can see that you are very worried about your future. Remember that there are many women and men too in this situation where the spouse is weak or have reasons for looking for another woman. Most of the issues originate from the early days of courting or marriage when you two meet and get to know each other. Initially, there is the miracle of love and slowly as we get to the brass tacks, many of our weaknesses and strengths are revealed.
In one glance, we cannot decide on whom to marry. So we wait for a while and try to gauge the compatibility of our spouse. Although during courting people only show off their best side, it is typical to lose interest in a spouse if one of them is weak or cunning. It looks like you have a husband with a problem.
In USA,you have many ways to get some balance to your life. First, you may talk to relatives and friends and see how you are resolve the situation. Since you have children, you have to first do all you can to maintain your family and the chlldren in the hope that you all will be back together. Never entertain negative thoughts. When you think of your husband, try to remember the way he was when you fell in love with him. Always be positive.
Remember that only positive thoughts create positive situations. Worrying about yourself, your chldren , your husband or his current girlfriend is not going to help you. On the other hand, if you take your family by the reigns and with the help of your family or neighbors, create a wonderful home for the children and you whlle you always hope for your husband to come back.
Of course, you have to set a date when you will try to find another partner again. Let the children grow up a little before you do that. For now, be brave and ask for help from the Government if your husband doesn’t provide for you and try to make the best of a difficult situation.
You may also divorce your husband any time since he has proved unfaithful. In US, an unfaithful husband has to pay the wife a certain sum of money every month. If you can trust your husband, try to get back together. However, since he has proven he is not trustworthy of you, it is best for you to live your life with the children’s best interest in mind.
Brightest Blessings
Rose.