I’ve been a practicing Pagan and Witch for the last 7 (almost 8) years now, and during this time, I’ve been having dreams, visions and drawings of a person I’d never met before. 5 years ago, I started having dreams of myself and a man, in a future context (or, dreams about the future). In one of the dreams, my step neice was in it and all grown up (she was 20 or so in the dream), but my sister hadn’t even met my brother in law yet. The man in my dreams, however, was my husband, and we had a child together, with another on the way in some of them (in the dream, I’m not married, nor do I have a child). Facts about my life now that I couldn’t’ve known five years ago were in these dreams. Since then, I’d still have dreams about him, but more symbolic dreams than future dreams. Even when he wasn’t in the foreground, I could still sense him being there. Two years ago, I was outside, meditating in a quiet spot near a creek I hike close to and I took out my sketchbook and started drawing. And I looked at it after I finished and realized who I’d drawn a picture of — it was the guy from my dream. I started writing facts about him, what he likes, how he grew up, his spirituality and so on. Then, this past November through Febuary, I had waking visions of him. I hadn’t even thought about him until I had the first one. It was of his shoulder and his tattoo. Just a short, 30 second little vision that I couldn’t control or make happen, they would occur whenever — be it when I was driving to work or rolling over in bed to turn of the light. The last vision I had, I saw his face. Okay. I tell you all of this because, I’m not sure I even believe it all. A while back, I was clicking around on Myspace, looking for old friends and coworkers and clicked on someone’s profile by accident. As soon as I did, I got sucked in. I saw his tattoo, on the screen instead of in my mind’s eye for the first time. I saw his face, read about his life, and couldn’t believe what I was seeing at all. A week later I messaged him for the first time, then called him a few days later (the first phone call lasted for four hours, of sheer amazement — we both kept getting blown away by each other), and then actually met him for the first time three days after our first phone call — it’s silly, and somewhat careless, I know, but it felt right, and I usually get the right vibes from people. We spent six hours together that first night. Walking, talking, laughing. It was like we’d met before, but we couldn’t’ve. For the most part of our lives, we’ve lived on opposite sides of the state (and we still sortof do), but our lives parallel in so many ways, both in good ways and in “bad” ways (similar childhoods and tests we didn’t always pass). He feels like the guy from my dreams, and my visions, and has all but one of those attributes I listed that day by the creek — a mundane detail of liking one band he’s not heard of before. That first night, not even knowing what his car looked like, I zeroed in on it and watched him pull up, because I knew it was him. We believe in very similar things, also. And the first time (and still) we held hands, it was like electricity. I’ve never felt it like that before. He brought it up, actually, asking me if I felt it too. So, if you’re wondering where the questions coming in, it’s coming up pretty soon. Right after my last vision of him, his father passed away. Since I’ve known him, he’s moved into a new apartment (farther away) and gotten a second job. He was fine and we were happy, for the first 3/4ths of the time we’ve known each other. Then it all hit him. We hit it in reverse and now we’re being “just friends”, because he doesn’t want to hurt me by not calling because he’s so busy (he literally has an hour between jobs during the day, and he uses it to shower and get to job two). So, we barely talk now, and it’s not for lack of me trying. So here it goes… I don’t want to lose him. I’ve been looking all my life for him, dreaming about him, seeing him without my physical eyes, knowing him without meeting him, all of my life. Last year, I did a spell so that I would meet him if he were real. I read Tarot cards, and every reading I’ve done or had someone do for me has a positive outcome of us being together, but suggest doing something that I’ve not done before in a relationship in order for things to end up like that, but I’m having some level of difficulty figuring out what that is. I’ve thought about doing a spell, just to HELP keep us close, to keep us together (though, not in an exactilly romantic meaning) during his hard times, and us in a romantic love sense will be down the road. I know how hard it is to lose a parent. I can be quite honest here, but I’ve never had this level of certainty when it comes to “always and ever” like I do with him, even in past relationships where I actually got engaged to someone else. I’m a little confused right now. At the beginning, and I know it’s not that big of a time span, it all made sense. The dreams, the visions, the pictures, it all just clicked, and made perfect sense. But now, I have that prickly fish of doubt riggling into my ear thanks to pessimistic friends of mine (who would rather I be with them than otherwise), saying, “Maybe its someone else you were dreaming of. Someone else you drew. Someone else you saw. He’s just very close to him, but it’s not him.” If that’s the case, then why would he feel the same? Why would I dream about him, draw him (side by side, my picture looks like I traced a photo of him, and I’m not the only one who thinks that)? Why would I see his tattoo (which is very complex) in detail and recognize it right off? What can I do? How do I NOT tread into love spell territory? Are there any magical ways to keep me from losing him? I know it’s a lot I’ve asked for, but I’m not sure what else I can do. Thank you very much for your time.

Hello there my dear,

One of the most common questions that I hear is something along the lines of, %u201CIs there a way / spell that will make someone want to be with me / love me?%u201D

Well, the short answer is, %u201CNo%u2026 there is not.%u201D

One of the core precepts of the Wiccan faith is to harm no other. If you are weaving spells or intoning rituals which are meant to sway the minds of others, then you are by definition harming them.

Free will is one of the most precious gifts we have been granted. Spells and rituals that are designed to infringe upon that free will and force others to do things by your design, instead of in accord with their own will, steals that most precious of gift from them.

In addition, whatever feelings or desires that they manifested for you would never be real or honest, but would instead simply be the manifestation of the magics. Would you really want to be with someone under those circumstances? Never really knowing if their feelings for you were genuine%u2026 or simply the product of magic?

So, in this particular case, my best advice to you is to take the time and put in the effort to do things the old fashioned way. After all, anything really worth doing is certainly worth doing right. If it is meant to be, then there is no need to rush or hurry things %u2013 and you will be much happier in the long term from having not done something you would likely regret.